Okay, so I had a yummy girls' lunch at the Cheesecake Factory today for Claire's birthday. We got on the subject of blogs. Sonya expressed her frustration with them that they were too close to a Christmas brag letter. She told of a time that she was reading mine about Lance being so good, meanwhile her kids were screaming in the background. She couldn't take anymore blogs after that.
So, this is for Sonya. Let me reassure you that this is not meant to be a brag blog. This is our family journal....to help us remember all the good times, because if we rely on my memory we won't have a single story to share. (In fact, Sonya can probably tell more memories about my kids when they were little than I could). If others care to read our blog, we'd love to share the joy. But, I'll warn you that 90% of the time it will be joy. Not that our life isn't filled with trials - kids arguing, me pulling out my hair, or getting a migraine, etc....but I don't care to share that with everyone. And, I especially don't care to share that with my children.
I was raised by a very positive, loving mother. She makes me believe in the self-fulfilling prophecy. So, I really try to dwell on the positive. It makes me soooo much happier anyways. I want to focus on my children's strengths, so that they, too, will focus on them. I think that makes the kids feel good about themselves. I believe that one's children should never hear their parents talking bad about them...so that especially includes blogs that the kids or their friends might read. In fact, we are taking a parenting class right now (since our kids aren't quite perfect). They even mentioned purposely complimenting your children to a friend when the children are in the room so that they can overhear it and feel good about themselves. Children need to believe in themselves!
My kids don't need to read a blog about their mother being frustrated by her motherly duties. That's not good for them. Even if it's ten years down the road, I don't want my kids reading that. Maybe it's not living in reality, but it's my preferred version of life. I want my kids to remember the good times. There are some not-so-good times, but I don't really think anyone wants to read those. Personally, I love the positive Christmas brag letters. I don't want to get depressed by receiving fifty Christmas cards from friends that all talk about what a horrible year they had! Come on!
So, here's to the good....maybe an occasional not-so- good to make us laugh...but most of the bad and especially the downright ugly we'll keep to ourselves. But, don't think that it's not there. We're not the Cleavers or the Watsons...we're the _______. (sorry, no last names on our posts:).
**Sonya sent me this comment and so I thought I should add it**
- Catherine,I totally agree with you to only be positive to my children. I meant it as a joke about MYSELF!! I in NO way meant to put you down and how you do your blog!! I apologize that I conveyed myself that way. I think you are an amazing Mom and wouldn't want you to be any different. I love you!! Your friend, Sonya .
Sorry, I think she thought that my feelings were hurt. I told her it just got me thinking that maybe others thought that about blogs also....like the people that think the same things about Christmas cards. (You know who you are:). So, I just wanted to post about it and share my opinion. But, no feelings were hurt. Sonya, you know I think you're just awesome! and send love back at ya!
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5 comments:
(Applause) Well said, Catherine! I've never understood the
"problem" with so called, "brag letters". I've always found it so interesting that while the sender is choosing to sharing their lives with those they send their letters to, there is a receiver who's sitting there finding fault with it. What is THAT all about? Why the criticism? Why the threat or competition or enmity for that matter? I think it is REALLY healthy for a mom to keep a blog and/or write a Christmas newsletters because what it does is act as a Grattitude Journal, making us moms more thankful for our lives and our families. Who wouldn't want that for another person?
Are you trying to make me feel bad for always posting about how my kids are driving me nuts?
jk.
Actually, I feel like a whole new woman now that I'm not pregnant. I'm sooo ready to be fun, happy mom again. :)
I absolutely agree with everything you said about this. I have to admit, I have felt the other side before. When life gets really tough, and I start feeling down, it can be hard to read family letters and hear how well everyone is doing. I think the problem is that we all compare our weaknesses to the strengths of others. But I agree that the way we present things and the things we focus on makes a huge difference. If you read my blog, you could call it a brag blog too. So, Amen Catherine, lets share the good and share in eachothers' joys and accomplishments!
Well said, Catherine. I totally agree!
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